Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
- Charles Caleb Colten
If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even
the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither
sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you.
- John 14:15-17
I
recently played a wedding reception. I was asked by the bride and
groom to play a couple of songs by their favorite singer/songwriter.
So I charted the songs, studied his strumming patterns and vocal
phrasing and began rehearsing the songs. I didn't want to give the
couple a carbon-copy ("I'm making copies!") but, on the other hand, I
wanted to maintain the original integrity of the songs and intent of the
artist.
It
didn't sink in until a few days before the wedding that, in a way, what
I was doing with the songs was analogous to what they would do with
their marriage. By God's grace they would become a faithful interpretation of the author's original masterpiece.
And
isn't that what marriage really is? At its best it is the clearest
example of the covenant (unconditional love) God has made with us in
Christ. After all his grace is certainly the only hope for sinners joined together for life. Without grace we're at the mercy of our inability to look past one another's shortcomings, weaknesses, annoyances etc...
Therefore,
I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven--for she loved much. But
he who has been forgiven little loves little. - Luke 7:47
Christ
taught that the actuation of true sacrificial love (read: costly love
that requires forgiveness) is evidence that one has been forgiven.
Grace (distributed vertically by God), like that shown to the "sinful
woman" in Luke's narrative (Luke 7:36-50), imbibes the forgiven with the
supernatural and altogether counter-intuitive power to love (read: love at a cost) others bending that grace out horizontally. Without this
kind of love, sooner or later, any marriage is headed for dire straights.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
- Ephesians 5:25
Marriage
continues to have an indelible impact on my life driving me more deeply
into the arms of a savior who forgives me and reconstitutes me
spiritually when I recognize how impossible it is for me to follow
Paul's direction (above). Only in the power of
The Spirit can I return to Megan as a forgiven man with the power to
love her like Jesus has loved me.
In
all marriages there is the ever-present temptation to ask the question
"is she/he giving me what I expected when we got married". Janet
Jackson famously sang, "what have you done for me lately?". Is this not the modus
operandi in most marriages? Sooner or later, a spouse examined under
the unbearably bright light of expectation will inevitably be found wanting.
Next
comes bitterness and resentment. Once this takes root, only two roads
remain. The first leads to divorce and the second leads to a quiet
acquiescence on the part of one or both partners to the painful reality
of a loveless marriage - "I do not love her (or she just doesn't love
me) and that's just the way it is".
What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
- Mark 10:9
But
if the master created the masterpiece which our marriages are meant to
emulate, The Gospel must deliver hope to couples exhausted by their inability to love one another well.
So often "the perfect marriage" seems just beyond our reach...and that's because, this side of heaven, it is! Taylor Goldsmith of the band Dawes, beautifully illustrates this reality with his song Moon in the Water. He describes his initial experience with unrequited love (read: heartbreak) where he learns that love is more than something to be "attained" or "mastered". Instead, it is something so immense and perfect that one must continue "fishing for" or "swinging for" it's reflection in the hopes that someday he/she will reach the ideal.
So often "the perfect marriage" seems just beyond our reach...and that's because, this side of heaven, it is! Taylor Goldsmith of the band Dawes, beautifully illustrates this reality with his song Moon in the Water. He describes his initial experience with unrequited love (read: heartbreak) where he learns that love is more than something to be "attained" or "mastered". Instead, it is something so immense and perfect that one must continue "fishing for" or "swinging for" it's reflection in the hopes that someday he/she will reach the ideal.
After
10 years of marriage this could not ring more true for us. The
perfect marriage is undeniably that which cost the groom everything; my
sacrificial love is, admittedly, shoddy by comparison. THE act of
love never to be perfectly copied but merely imitated is the love
made absolutely manifest in the cross of Christ. Jesus' bruised
body and shed blood became the bread and the cup which nourishes all
those who have been left heartbroken by life and (what so often passes
for) love and have come face to face with their hunger and thirst.
To
continue with (my reading of...) Goldsmith's metaphor, the love of God
in Christ Jesus is the love which all who enter into marriage must reach
towards. Yet, in it's infinite wisdom, God's plan goes a step
further.
In our reaching/swinging for this perfect love we become exhausted and frustrated arriving at the crossroads where all who are truly broken in Spirit finally arrive. "I cannot, so He must". I have become powerless to manage my life. HELP! I need somebody!
In our reaching/swinging for this perfect love we become exhausted and frustrated arriving at the crossroads where all who are truly broken in Spirit finally arrive. "I cannot, so He must". I have become powerless to manage my life. HELP! I need somebody!
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
- Psalm 51:17
Thank
God then that Christ Jesus' strength begins in the midst of our
weakness. He loves us more perfectly than we with our best intentions
could ever hope to love one another. The Perfect Marriage between Christ and His church is already
consummated in the heart of the believer. It is there that The Spirit has
made his home and it is there that love like this is made perfectly
possible.....
Love is patient, love is
kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does
not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but
rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always
hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease;
where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge,
it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part,but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I
reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood
behind me. For now we
see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.
Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
- 1 Corinthians 13
Christ's Blessings,
Matt
P.S. For your listening pleasure....
This Week
* New Wednesday AM Book Study - Grace in Practice by Paul F. M. Zahl - get your books here! Chapter 1, Grace in Theology tomorrow at 7am - 2 American Center, 5th Floor (Ritcheson Law Firm)
Next Week...
* Monday Men's Lunch at Dakota's - 12pm - Chapter 5 of Tempted and Tried
This Week
* New Wednesday AM Book Study - Grace in Practice by Paul F. M. Zahl - get your books here! Chapter 1, Grace in Theology tomorrow at 7am - 2 American Center, 5th Floor (Ritcheson Law Firm)
Next Week...
* Monday Men's Lunch at Dakota's - 12pm - Chapter 5 of Tempted and Tried
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